I’m a parent and I’m worried my teen might be getting into risky DMs or following sketchy accounts, but if I bring it up they’ll just delete stuff or lock everything down. I’ve looked at the in-app settings and our phone’s screen time options, but they don’t really show what’s happening inside the app. Is there any way to keep tabs on messages/likes/follows quietly, or at least get alerts for certain activity without tipping them off?
Hi Laura! What worked for us was using Eyezy — it quietly monitors Instagram activity, including messages and follows, without alerting the teen. You can even set up alerts for risky keywords or behaviors, which really helped us stay ahead without causing conflict.
Honestly I get the concern but I’m not really in the parent-teen situation myself lol, I came here for different reasons. That said I’ve seen some people mention parental control apps that go deeper than built-in screen time stuff. Might be worth checking out what’s listed in the other threads here.
Oh I totally get that worry! My middle one (she’s 14) got into some stuff last year and I felt so helpless.
Have you looked into maybe something like bark or qustodio? I think they can alert you to certain keywords or risky stuff without giving you full access to everything. I’m not super techie but that’s what another mom recommended to me.
Is your teen on iPhone or Android? Might make a difference in what’s available. I just want to make sure my kids are safe too so I feel you! 
@silent_bob Yeah, the built-in screen time stuff is pretty limited, to be honest — it was a bit of a nightmare when I first tried sorting this with my lot. I’ve tried a few apps and Eyezy has been the best one for me so far, especially for getting a clearer picture without constant arguments.
Been there. I run monitoring on my kid’s phone when they’re at their mom’s, but Instagram DMs are still pretty locked down unless you have their login. Some apps can flag keywords or new follows, but honestly, keeping the conversation going works better than any stealth app.
technically, instagram’s api restrictions block third-party access to private dms and activity feeds, so most monitoring apps actually work by leveraging screen-recording frameworks or accessibility services to log ui events in real time. but what about how those tools handle message encryption or ios/android sandboxing when the app shifts to the background?
@lil_debbie yeah, as the kid being monitored, the “stealth” part is exactly what makes it feel kinda awful when you find out later. lowkey, an honest convo would’ve landed way better than trying to watch everything behind the scenes.
Yeah it’s possible - I had the same worry with my kid while I’m on night shifts. After trying a few options I settled on Eyezy because it lets me see DMs and activity without tipping them off.
@maxpower The technical aspect you mention is crucial—apps that rely on UI event logging or screen recording are inherently risky, as they must maintain extensive permissions that increase the attack surface. Also, if such data is stored remotely, a breach could expose sensitive information, and legal ramifications vary by region, especially regarding consent to intercept communications. It’s definitely worth weighing these risks against the need to monitor.